Thursday, 3 October 2013

Freedom of Speech? Not in this House Babe...

Things have been quite quiet since arriving home from our lovely Mediterranean Jaunt. We are back to work and caring for the oldies, all of whom didn't miss us one little bit I might add! I have only had one spanking since holiday and that was more due to the stress of homecoming than my general naughtiness so all has been  well  in our teeny corner of the English countryside.

Yesterday I was a little bit, shall we say, testy or maybe temperamental, or even downright annoying. At least in my husband's (he who is always right) opinion that is. I suppose I knew that I would not get away with my wonderful attitude for ever but gosh you would think I could have lasted a bit longer without retribution than a measly couple of days. I truly thought he was too busy too notice my mutterings and sneaky gestures and general cheekiness.

This morning over breakfast, I informed hubby that I was going to run some errands for my mum and step-mum and he very calmly answered

Not yet you're not. We are busy

No we're not, what are you talking about?

Funny girl, you know exactly what we are doing. Are you showering first or after? Your choice  but you better get moving.


Silenced, I slunk off to the shower. When I arrived in the bedroom, he wasn't in evidence but he had laid on the bed his chosen implements,  a leather paddle, our new toy ( show ya later) purchased on a giggly whim in a tourist shop on holiday, and the bleeping wooden paddle :((
This is where I made a teeny weeny mistake


                                  I hid the paddle



I pottered about and hubby appeared, saying nothing about the mystery of the missing implement, although he couldn't have failed to miss it as it his favourite. I just got the  the usual orders to get into position.

I obediently leant over those lovely pillows he had so kindly placed at the end of our bed and awaited my fate.

I see the paddle has done a disappearing act,  no problems, I think the crop (nasty, black, stingy, always leaves marks) is about due an airing.

I do hate that thing and it very rarely comes out so finally the penny dropped, I was  really in for it.

Okay wife, why are you here this morning? (accompanied by a few, far to hard to be starting off with, smacks)

Because you are mean? ( See how my mouth just runs away with itself)

smack ,smack,  smack. Try again babe. Wallop

Okay okay, ouch ow. I was a little bit mouthy, maybe a bit  cheeky.. Ow ow ouch

A bit? Too much of everything I reckon, too many gestures, too much cheek, too much attitude.
Also and I believe you made this a rule to help you to remember. You forgot to turn the heating off AGAIN.

The spanking continued, for a while, with much wriggling and jiggling and kicking ( got a nasty mark on my leg from the new implement cos of those kicks :(((   )

Do you think you could refrain from the attitude and the smart remarks, do you think this will help. I hope so.  No more smart mouth!!

What happened to freedom of speech?    OUCH No No, not the crop .God that hurts......


Freedom of speech, he laughed, laughed I am telling you. Never heard of it, especially in this house.

Infuriating man.

Can I change my mind about ttwd. because my a** is really hurting and you are annoying me. (Still squirming, was this spanking ever going to end?).

Not a chance my sweet. You brought this dd malarkey to me and here it stays. Love you babe.

Oh, well can you stop for today, I am really really sorry. I will turn the heating off, I will be good. love you too.  Please please.........

Eventually after a lot of spanking, a little cropping (Sorry I don't know the technical term) and a bit of giggling with the don't know what, I was suitably repentant  and hubby was appeased :)


Gosh it's lovely afterwards. I love him, he loves me. I don't want to stop  dd ever, he doesn't either.
We are getting the hang of it. Generally I wish he was stricter, it's the lecturing I need, he wishes I was naughtier ( no chance for a while, I am rather tender at the minute), so plod on we will.

Now as I mentioned earlier our new implement.  Whilst on holiday in a little Italian souvenir shop look what we spotted at exactly the same time. It was  wooden kitchen implement shaped like a little long paddle. it is very cheerful, painted with lemons. Hubby took a picture of it resting on my rosy cheeks  but as you can see I refused to inflict that picture on you so here is the innocent thing all on it's own.





I doubt very much if it will last long as it is fairly flimsy. I have no idea what it is actually for but it came with a tea towel so it is kitchen orientated . Any ideas?


 I hope everyone in Blogland is well and happy. Hope you all have a good week.

love Jan.xxx


P.S. Mick has finally blogged if  you are interested. About time too sir.  x

29 comments:

  1. Spaghetti measurer. We have metal one.... there is no way that would come near me.
    Glad to know DD is working for you and that though freedom of speech as been curtailed, freedom of thought continues unabated :)
    hugs
    DF

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    1. A spaghetti measurer! I just throw it in. who knew? We do have fun with ttwd really. even our punishments are laughed through , so far anyway..
      love Jan.xx

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  2. Lol Jan! That 'implement' is for measuring spaghetti :D
    You choose the hole you need, the one marked x3 is for 3 persons for example, and fill it with pasta...
    I guess it makes for a fine implement though.
    As for wooden spoon, I don't think I will be able to look at it without thinking about spanking :)
    Hugs
    V.

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    1. Hi Viola, how come everyone knows but me? I must be stupid. Oh I am not fond of a wooden spoon either.
      love Jan.xx

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  3. Sounds like its working for you both.

    Yes a spaghetti measurer. Prettier than the one we have. I've put mine in the draw out of sight.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Hi Ronnie, I could have bought you one back, it is pretty stingy on the thigh though!! Btw I loved the picture on your terrace.
      love Jan.xx

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  4. LoL Jan, well, I guess that solves the mystery of the new implement :) It looks kinda cute to me. Glad to hear you had a lovely holiday.

    No freedom of speech eh? sounds just like something Rick would say, along with "this is not a democracy"! You hid the implement AND called him annoying? LoL

    I'm sorry about the spanking and have to say this made me laugh :) I'm so glad to hear you guys are doing so well :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, It's not a democracy here either . I am spoiled though so I can't say I suffer any really. Hope you and Rick are doing well now
      love Jan.xx

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  5. You are very brave (or foolish) during a spanking. Your honey may need to look into one of those metal spaghetti measurers. Still to me it all sounds wonderful.

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    1. Hi Elis, foolish. But like your Nick he is not really into punishing me so it's all in fun for him. I am still a bit tender though and I will NOT be telling him they make those things in metal at any point.. Today he made me laugh, I said I fantasised about him being stricter in the lecturing and he said "I thought I did a good job yesterday seeing as how I didn't have much to say" . Bless him
      love Jan.xx

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  6. Indeed you are brave to be sassy when your bottom is so right there. Hiding the paddle is courageous and gutsy. I won"t even touch our paddle, but it sure touches me.
    Meredith

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    1. Hi Meredith, I just did it on an impulse, won't be doing it again:((
      love Jan.xx

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  7. It's a spaghetti measure but obvoiusly doesn't feel like a wet noodle when applied to your bottom.

    Glad you have a great trip and are enjoying life. It's the only we get so might as well enjoy it.

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    1. Hi Sunny, Can I just say I loved your new book, thanks we had a great trip and ttwd is the best part of our life at the minute.
      love Jan.xx

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  8. Hey Sassy Soul Sister.. Not another word out of you about MY sass! .LOL. Guess you know what your paddle is really for, not that you will ever use it for that.

    much love
    willie

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    1. Hi Willie, I have been very good today, all submissive and domestic. Spaghetti measurer my eye. Who does that, surely you just through a dollop or two in the saucepan!! lol
      love Jan.xx

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  9. Oh Jan you make me crack up! We have one of those things too - and it leaves circles all over my butt! I burned all the old riding crops though! Stupid I am not!

    So glad you had a good and relaxing holiday. I tracked your ship as it printed its voyage in our 'Cruise News' each day. Pity we were at the opposite ends of the sea. All I have to do is lose the weight I put on and get all the laundry and ironing done! Ugh!

    Hugs

    Ami

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  10. I came home earlier than you so I am all caught up! I tracked you too , wish we had gone on the same trip. I had a few circles on my leg, gosh that bloody hurt. lol. speak soon
    love Jan.xx

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  11. I have never heard of a spaghetti measurer either. :-) I just guess and dump it in the boiling water and it always seems enough. Love the ending - He loves you and you love him. You sound very happy. :-) Now remember to take care of the heater. :-) Hugs

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    1. Hi Terps, Thank goodness. I was beginning to think everyone else in the world had a spaghetti measurer!! Life is too short is it not?
      I love him loads and I tell him every day at some point.lol
      love Jan.xx

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  12. I am very late but I laughed at your sauciness. It goes nicely with your spaghetti measurer. :)

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    1. Hi Susie, I think he would like me to be saucier really. I am going to practise more :)) Hope you two are ok.
      love Jan.xx

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  13. What a fun post! I was going to answer the paddle question but I see everyone beat me to it. :)

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  14. Sorry I'm late to the party. What a fun post. Glad you guys are good and you had a nice vacation.

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    1. Hi Zoe, We do try and keep everything fun but sometimes it is not so easy. Thanks the holiday was lovely, warm and sunny. Back home it's freezing today and gale force winds:(
      love Jan.xx

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  15. Ouch! The holes in a spaghetti measure make it very stingy indeed!

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    1. Hi Alex, welcome, yes it is stingy but on the plus side it is fairly flimsy and will soon snap I am sure ;)
      love Jan.xx

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  16. I think you should be 'hoping' that the spaghetti measure will not last long. Lol!
    It sounds like you're having fun with ttwd which is lovely to read actually :)

    Dee x

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