Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Misunderstanding and an angry Spanking!

I think we have hit a teensy bump in our ttwd road of life. Owing  probably ( no definitely(and I still can't do the crossing out thing)) due to my ongoing, never ending, whining and moaning about being in pain. T hings have

 stalled

stopped

halted

paused.....


Get the drift?

Well last night after reading one too many blogs about all of you lot whom I am becoming quite jealous of, all plodding on quite happily. Before you say it, I KNOW . We are all different, we all go at our own pace,all that stuff that I generally trot out to everyone else. I also know that not everyone is having a high old time but my reading was quite clearly selective.

Just let me say this is not my general mode of action. NORMALLY, I love it when I read about someone's success story and fret about someone who is struggling. Last night however I didn't, and thought maybe we could have a little chat, just a weeny little conversation.

Now I will admit that I had maybe (okay positively)  been a bit quiet (sulky) FOR GODS SAKE WILLIE TELL ME HOW TO DO THE CROSSING OUT THING AGAIN PLEASE.

When we were snuggled up in bed and were sort of dozing off I just happened to say,
" I have been blogging today and I feel that whilst everyone else is jogging along nicely we have come to a standstill"

Now I don't think I was accusing or loud or anything really but ....

Hubby went bananas ( not like him either actually). He was very defensive and started yelling that he felt under pressure. He was a bit accusing and then started in with attack. For once I was speechless so I decided to shut up and say no more. He didn't even give me chance to explain before he leapt into action and turned the lights on and started rummaging in his toy bag.

Bleeping H**l, he spanked me. After a drought,  he spanked and in anger too. He lectured and accused and was definitely very cross with me.

This was so rare and by this time I was so angry I refused to make a single sound ( and bloody hard that was too as he used the wooden ruler after a dose of his hard hand).  I will never know how I managed to say nothing , don't get me wrong I know I could have stopped him at any point but I just lay there over those flipping piloows and took it SILENTLY.

When he stopped saying sadly "
This isn't working either is it ?" I flounced off to the bathroom and got into bed without saying a single word.


Now all this is unheard of in the Rose household.

Things were a bit tense this morning to say the least, but as we were visiting a nearby city for the day I knew we would talk on the journey. 

Well we did and it turned out to have been a simple misunderstanding. I think whilst he thought calling a halt to it all while I was in so much pain was him being kind and caring, I had thought it was him being uncaring and inconsistent about ttwd!!

I think he has been putting up with my moods and blaming illness whilst I have been worse to try and get a reaction.

"Oh the webs we weave when we practise to deceive"

Basically, served me right for being a pain in the neck,

Today we have promised to talk more and he is going to try to be a bit more consistent. One thing he is going to do is text me more when he is at work. He works nights and I am struggling with long hours alone at the minute. I feel happier tonight and hopefully so does he.


Incidentally ,and this is so embarrassing, there are no pictures to lighten the mood of this jolly little tale because I am working on the PC and not my notebook. This is because OMG I have had to take it in to be fixed because , well actually I don't know why or else I would have fixed it myself. I had to sign in to my blog in front of the male child who is endeavouring to fix it for me to show him the problem. Be thankful none of you use your real names. I wanted to sink throught the floor. Hubby is going to collect it for me. By now the poor boy knows all my secrets. Believe me I was tempted to throw it away and buy a new one.


Hope everyone is well and happy.
love Jan.xx

37 comments:

  1. Oh, Jan. I just read your comment on Sara's blog and my heart went out to you. Those "angry husband" spankings are the absolute WORST. I've been there and they hurt so badly. It's not at all the same as loving discipline, huh? I know everyone says "don't spank in anger," but, well, we are all human. Mistakes happen. Jason is a pretty calm guy but he's done it a time or two.

    I'm glad you were able to move past this. I know what you mean about reading blogs and becoming discontent. It hurts, because when this works well, we feel so loved. It is hard when we hit bumps in the road. But we've all been there, hon, I can guarantee it. We've had some major dry spells here, and heart ache, and arguments over TTWD. Everyone has to find their way, and sometimes there's no easy way around it.

    Chin up, girl.

    Yikes on the laptop! You are my hero! LOL

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    1. Hi jason girl, Do you know what? i am laughing about it today and guess what hubby has had to take the laptop back in today because it's still not working!!
      love jan.xx

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    2. Ah, so glad you are doing better! Amazing what a little time and space will do!! xoxox

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  2. Laughed at the part you're making hubby p/u the computer. Chicken.

    Glad you were able to work out the bumps. Hopefully things will be better in the future.

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    1. Hi Sunny, He has had to take it back again today!!!!
      love jan.xx

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  3. Hey Jan...so sorry you had the misunderstanding but happy you two have it sorted out. Hopefully, things will be better now. Remember...communication!!!! ;)

    To do the crossing out thingy, highlight (select) the word(s) you want to strike through and then click on the ABC with the line through them at the top of the edit screen next to the U with the underscore. Let me know if you need more info and I can create some screenshots for you.

    You little stinker...did you warn hubby that he might be getting some strange looks when he goes to pick up your computer? LOL

    Sending lots of positive energy your way!

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Hi Cat, hubby has just walked in and he sais the chap told him he si noy allowed to read anything !! As if I believe that. They say it is fixed but I am dooubtful. I am going to try the crossing out. thanks for the info
      love Jan.xx

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  4. Just a note to remember... I think a lot of HOH's do not like to be told things aren't how we think they should be. I have definitely learned the HARD way (as in paddled well) that SM doesn't want to hear that. We have to tread carefully we spanked wives when we bring up topics such as this to our husbands!

    Yes, I totally realize I am attempting to give advice after being spanked 3 times yesterday. Do as I say and not as I do!!! LOL

    Anyway... glad it's all better now with you.

    hugs and love
    sara :)

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    1. Hi Sara, I constantly use the do as I say not do as I do when I am teaching dance . The girls know I am getting on a bit and have a poorly leg!! I am definitely not going to say anything again! Well at least for a little while anyway.
      Everything is fine now
      love Jan,xx

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  5. Hugs. This is why I have safe words and can ask for a waiting period.

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    1. Hi there, we don't really need a safe word. I could have stopped him just by saying no. We are very okay now:)
      love Jan.xx

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  6. Oh, Jan.

    I understand the jealousy but PLEASE, please try to put it into perspective.

    Accept that you are jealous. It's okay. It's an emotion. It doesn't make you a bad person.

    Accept that your jealousy is about you, not about other people. So many times, a lot of difficulties are happening in other people's lives that we don't know about. So many times, what we see is a public persona.

    And hold onto your sense of humor. You've got a great one.

    Hugs and strength.

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    1. Hi , Actually I am not a jealous person in the least. I think I was wondering why we were at a standstill. I love it when everyone else is happy. I am happy too with ttwd on a general basis. I am putting it down to hormones;)
      love Jan.xx

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    2. It's okay if you do feel a teeny tiny bit jealous. We all do, really. :) And well...hormones suck.

      Hugs and wishes for a great day today.

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  7. I'm not having a high old time of it :) Glad you talked it out.

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    1. Oh dear , I am sorry to hear that, email me privately if you want to ,love Jan.xx

      rosychuckles@gmail.com

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    2. Nothing's horribly wrong or anything, it's just never easy. My man is always a challenge, but that keeps things interesting.

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  8. Misunderstanding are so easy with TTWD. We know what we want in our minds, and the guys for all that they try, often have a hard time understanding. The fact that they are willing to try says everything.

    I write all my post in word and cut and paste it on the blog. So for me the cross out is right up there with bold and italic.

    And now about the computer - the longer I've blogged, the less I care who knows or what they think. Maybe it's my age. I no longer care if people approve of me or not, I like me and I like spanking and that's all that matters.

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    1. Hi PK. Thanks for the help. I too wish I could just tell evryone. I don't care what people think either. I love spanking and I love my hubby for indulging me
      love Jan.xx

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  9. I am sorry for the misunderstanding. Communication, even when you think you are both being clear, can still get misinterpreted, confused, or missed. The answer is simply to keep communicating. :-) Glad that you are working through it. And we all have our moments of joy and our moments of darkness, and yes, moments of jealousy. We are human. :-) Take care! Sending hugs your way, Terps

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    1. Hi terps, all is well today. hope you and yours are good
      love Jan.xx

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  10. Well Cat already answered your question, and LADY the directions I gave you were for in Chat anyway..LOL!

    Oh Jan, go read my letter to Barney. We were and are doing well, but it doesn't take long for us women to feel dejected when we think things are sliding back to normal. AND in your case it has been a long time. It is difficult for our husbands to understand that there are different ways of showing they care. It is also difficult for them to wrap their head around ttwd when all our ducks are in a row let alone when one walks off! LOL

    I would think this has been bothering him for a time. Something on his mind that is why he reacted so. As for not moving an inch during a spanking, been there many a time. Anger is something else where deflection is concerned.

    I am not so sure what you were experiencing was jealousy. Is envy the same? Feeling sorry for yourself and desiring what once was. or could be. Jealousy sounds, to me anyway, like you are bitter toward the others, and I know that is not true. It is okay to want ttwd. It okay that reading about others that have some form of the life you desire and feel pangs of pain. It isn't a pleasant feeling, but you shouldn't feel badly about it. But there is that Helen Keller saying again, ( I won't use quotation marks b/c I can't recall it word for word) enjoy what you have, while working toward what you want.
    I know the communication thing blew up this time, but it ended better. Good for you for finally saying something. It takes a while to learn how to talk to each other effectively. Sounds like you are learning.
    hugs
    willie

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    1. Hi Willie, yes you are right it is more a teeny dose of envy. I am not a a jealous person, especially of my blogland friends. We have been doing ttwd for almost a year and really and truly everything is great. Okay I probably want it more than him but I do know he doesn't want to stop so I guess for now we are back on track.
      love Jan.xx

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  11. Jan I am so sorry you are still in so much pain. It's a bugger!

    Glad you and Hubby are proving to be the same as the rest of us at long last! LOL!

    Now you know why I get so many ATTITUDE spankings! LOL!

    Does spice things up a bit, even if not in quite the direction we had hoped for! LOL!

    Do give me a call next time you get all fed up!

    Many hugs
    Ami

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    1. Hi Ami, I am still waiting for the damn scan too. According to the hospital when I finally got so fed up and asked the cost of going private they said they hadn't had a letter in the first place. I now am supposed to be urgent and should be scanned within two weeks!!! I am keeping my attitude very sweet this week lol. We have always had blips but usually only teeny ones not worth reporting!
      Speak soon
      love Jan..
      P.S. Shall we hit the January sales after christmas?

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  12. Hi Jan,

    My hear goes out to you. I'm so sorry you are in so much pain and for the misunderstanding. I'm glad you were able to communicate and work through it.

    I think we all have our moments of jealousy when reading about others. Try to bear in mind that it is only a snippet, a snapshot you are reading and that people only share what they want to.

    Sending you huge (((Hugs)))
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, I actually think I am getting used to the pain now. it is never flipping ending. We are talking more today and I am being very good ( won't last long I don't suppose). I must have just read one to many contented blogger's tale the other night.
      love Jan.xx

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  13. Misunderstanding happen but happy you're working it out.

    Love & hugs,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Hi Ronnie, we are great today, hope you and P are too
      love Jan.xx

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  14. Hi Jan, misunderstandings are common enough in most marriages. With TTWD, they lead to something more tangible and mixing in angry emotions.... look after yourself.
    I have a tendency to write upbeat posts more than the other. It doesn't mean they aren't there in my head, they're just harder to put into words. We, people in general, often desire what another has, it's only when we are given it, we realise what we had before suited us perfectly. It's natural, human nature.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Hi DF, It wasn't that bad really, just not our usual foray into spanking. Hubby is never usually angry with me, we don't really row so it was an unexpected suprise lol. Hope you are ok
      love Jan.xx

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  15. Jan,
    I am so sorry things did not go well. I have had only one angry spanking from Jack but as we made our way, he did calm down and the spanking continued. Once he had settled down, so did the action on my backside. Things will get better.
    Meredith

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    1. Hi Meredith, things are already better and tomorrow we have a special day so it will be happy
      love Jan.xx

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  16. Jan, glad the misunderstanding is over. Funny how they think they're being kind by letting things go and we have the complete opposite reaction. I almost always read letting it go as I don't care. Now that Luke is starting to understand that not much gets let go and it's kind of amazing how safe that feels. Sorry it had to get to an angry spanking to clear it all up! Clara

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    1. Hi Clara, you are right, that's exactly how it is here. All is okay now and he has read a few blogs today to help understand things a bit better. This is something he has always refused to do so who knows......
      love Jan.xx

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  17. Hi Jan, :) Sorry that you had a misunderstanding with your hubby, but glad that things seem to be on the up and up. In an ideal world we would all communicate perfectly at every turn. Alas, we are human, and sometimes things fall apart. The good news is that we can fix them, learn and move on. Looks like you are doing that! :)

    LOL about the computer pick up by your hubby! And I hope that you are feeling much better! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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  18. Hi Katie, I have had a great day today, all is well here, talking more and spanking less!!!
    The computer appears to be fixed. The second time round my poor hubby actually stayed chatting to the chap as he fixed it.
    love Jan.xx

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