Friday, 13 February 2015

I can't Count!


Hello everyone,


 just to give you a giggle....

Earlier on in the week after a count up of the biscuit, cake, chocolate action in the house my oh so kind husband decided to take action :(

"Well I make that eighty" he rumbled in a sort of satisfactory tone .



"Wait, it can't be eighty, that's impossible! I haven't been that bad! Not eighty surely" I actually squeaked on in this way for a few minutes but I figured you have the idea.

"I am going back to the last spanking and there are a few days to consider. Stop your whining and move yourself up those stairs and over those pillows"

Now I don't usually count so I had no idea if this is a lot more or less than normal  or the same but it sounded pretty scary to me so it was with a less than keen attitude that I trudged slowly to my fate.

"Oh and before you get in position get the key out"

It just got better and better, as the key referred to is the key to a lovely leather chest kept in our bedroom that contains all our  toys and kept locked just in case the kids decide to have a look.
In my opinion 80 with anything was not going to be a pleasant experience. The devil left me laying there worrying for a while before he appeared rubbing his hands with no small amount of glee. 

The first ten were administered on his arrival with what seemed like a very determined hand. I was already squirming ( which he moans about all the time, and caused him to "suggest " that  If I didn't keep still 80 could quite easily turn into 90.

"That's ten, let's see what else would make  your naughty food habits better. "
Rummaging in the box I could hear him chuckling as he returned to the bed and put several implements beside me. 

"Ten with each of these  should have you thinking about that piece of cake"

He used  a wooden spoon, I swear I could feel those little egg shapes appearing on my bottom, he used a silicon spoon ( that I actually quite like but won't be telling him anytime soon in case it get's decreed as useless), a wooden ruler ( very stingy), a really hard leather paddle ( that aimed for my thighs as the kicking levels rose)  and then  more with his hand. 

And then, and then this is where I fully expect you to have a laugh at my expense. feel free I don't grudge it to you but he asked me how many we were up to.....

"50!" I shrieked "50!" 
There was a moments silence and then he laughed loudly and said 

"Actually it was 60! But I think we will go with your count "

"No, no. I lost count that's not fair, you can't do that, you are being mean"
Who really tells their Hoh that they are mean when trapped with one hand on their back and their legs pinned ? An extra, not counted flurry of slaps accompanied that small piece of idiocy.  My stupidity levels seemed to have grown even as my counting skills had decreased.  

The remainder were given with the aid of my least favourite implement, a nasty wooden paddle and I screeched the whole time, promising fervently to avoid any food with sugar in it for ever!! 
I will admit I have broken this promise already not even a week later,  but I do think there is a wee bit of improvement.

So there you have it my friends, next time you have to count, my advice is to concentrate, or take a blinking calculator with you. I am simply going to admit I have no idea and rely on his mathematical skills which are quite clearly better than mine.


Hope you all have a good weekend and a Happy Valentine's day with or without spanking as is your wish.
love Jan,xxx

35 comments:

  1. Oh Jan you goose lol. Sounds like John was having way too much fun to me lol. Ouch! Thankfully I have never had to count, I would be useless lol

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, he doesn't usually make me count. I think he enjoyed my mistake too much!
      love Jan,xx

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  2. I usually just count without even meaning to. Of course I don't have to count very hight these days LOL! I sure wish a good spanking would keep us from over eating those bad thinks. If it really worked I'd go out and hire a spanker if I had to.

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    1. Hi PK, At first it worked for me a treat but since Christmas I have been a disaster :(
      love Jan,xx

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  3. 80 - that's a fair bit of naughtiness, I'm envious, not sure if it's of the spanking or the chocolate, probably both ;-)
    I never count and P just keeps going regardless most of the time.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Hi DF, bet you would envy me that lovely big belgian bun as well , lol. John doesn;t usually count I think he was just messing about
      love Jan,xx

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  4. I hate when i am told to count...it means He wants to keep me in the moment. And if our numbers don't match....He is right...and i get extras. It is nice that he is watching and taking action...'
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby, Oh I don't have to count as many as you thank goodness. I don't know how you do it
      Love Jan,xx

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  5. LOL, I can't count to save my life while being spanked! If you have to count, I recommend investing in one of those things that you click a button and it counts for you - I think they are usually used to count people as they walk into an old theater or something. :-)

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    1. Hi Jay, welcome. He laughed when I told him what you said, He reckons I would be too busy wriggling to press the button!
      love Jan,xx

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  6. How do they expect us to keep count when we are in the throes of a spanking. Maybe we should ask them to count when they are in the throes of a BJ or a orgasm, see how well they do and then deny them if the number is wrong. Okay maybe that wouldn't work but I can't think of anything else this early in the AM.

    Happy Valentines' Day Jan.

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    1. Hi Sunny, I have just read this to hubby and he said we are supposed to be able to multi task!!xx

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  7. Jan,
    Oh, my! A spanking for eating sweets.............. ow! And counting too. I hope things are calm and settled now.
    Meredith

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    1. Hi Meredith, he is at work tonight and I am trying to avoid temptation. I deserved it though as I seem to have lost the plot lately!
      love Jan,xx

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  8. What is it having to count, I don't like it. P tells me to count then asks how many are we up to/or many many was that and if I get it wrong we start again:(

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Hi Ronnie,omg I am not reading your comment to hubby. Start again!! that never occured to him thank goodness
      love Jan,xx

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  9. Oh my Jan, I'd be terrible at counting. How can you keep track when your bum is on fire? So...did it help or were you craving something sweet the next morning?

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend with a gg spanking. You deserve one of those after the last one!!

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    1. Hi Clara, well I have been a little bit better since. We are going away for a few days next week, Gg spankings here we come, lol. Hope things are okay with you two
      love Jan,xx

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  10. Hi Jan, ok, 80 sounds so not nice when it is not for fun. But that you got the extras, oh no that’s not fair, is it? … I had to laugh at the BJ-idea and John’s multi tasking comment, though.
    You really do have a sweet tooth, haven’t you? I can get that all too well, though at the moment I have managed to replace some biscuits with apples and bananas. … But I do already plan to bake biscuits and muffins again tomorrow. :)
    I think with the wooden paddle in action it is no surprise that you promised to be better, though you should maybe not mention the broken promise. Instead I think that the improvement is what should count most, after all you do try hard and you see that this week has been better concerning the sugary things. That’s great and maybe you could be rewarded nicely and calory-free, e.g. with 80 of the nice ones or other wonderful activities. :) Jan, I hope you are having a wonderful and naughty Valentine’s day and an awesome weekend!

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. Hi Nina, we are both working over the weekend but then we are going away for a few naughty days. That wooden paddle had better not come!! Hope you have a great Valentines weekend
      love Jan,xx

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  11. I wouldn't have been able to keep track either! And, I think I'd be as hopeless a case as you when it comes to relapsing with the sugar-eating...mmmmm.

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    1. Hi Autumn, at least I didn't have to run and fetch the wretched implements myself!! I have a very sweet tooth and both my boys have inherited it too. Our "goody" tin always needs filling up!!
      love Jan,xx

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  12. Oh gosh Jan!!! :) LOL you asked that question about who would call their HoH mean... Hahahaha- I cringed and just raised my hand. LOL! Been there, do it... You have a partner in crime!!

    Sounds like John had quite a fun time of it all, and helped you out a bit too. Gosh, I am not good at keeping track either. Except when there is a 5,4,3 etc. You don't want those. LOL! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Hi Katie, I know ,fancy name calling when you are in that position, my mouth just runs away with me! I haven't told mine about your countdowns, don't want to give him any ideas!!
      love Jan,xx

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  13. I do not think I would have been able to count. Gosh - thus far this week, I have made chocolate chip cookies, snowball cookies, rice crispy treats - so I have had more than my share of sweets...no one to keep me accountable though other than myself and I am losing... :-) Hugs to you. Hope you have a fun Valentines Day!

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    1. Hi Terps, Oh I would have enjoyed eating at yours this week!! Hope you have a great Valentines weekend
      love Jan,xx

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  14. I'm trying to reflect on whether I count??? Then I started to imagine Leigh's idea, while picturing all the cookies Terps made! Yep we do multi task.... But in the midst of a spanking.... Hmmm hard one!!!
    This was a great post Jan!

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    1. Hi Minelle, I don't usually count. In reality I think I probably get a lot more than 80 generally. Somehow counting made it seem worse!
      love Jan,xx

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  15. Oh good gravy Jan! Learn how to count woman! My mom used to have a little clicker (this was before hand held calculators) that she used at the grocery store. You should try to find some kind of little clicker that would allow to the squeeze it for every spank and if he asked you how many, you would just need to look at the clicker! Could maybe even click a few extra for harder spanks (I really didn't suggest that! *snicker). Sending lots of positive energy on watching your sweets intake.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Hi Cat, at least I didn't try and tell him I had had more than I really had. He was obviously keeping count properly and that would have definitely given me extras! I don't normally have to count , he usually just keeps going till I look done, lol
      love Jan,xx

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  16. Hi Jan,
    I'm sorry I'm so late, I have been without a computer for a couple weeks! I hope you had a great week. I'm totally struggling to take off the 10 lbs I put on during the winter, its so hard and I have such a sweet tooth. Still wishing you good luck, I know you can do it. I despise counting too! Do they realize how had it is to keep track in that situation!? I feel for you lol, I mess up the counting all the time. Hope you have a great weekend!

    Hugs

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    1. Hi Jennelle, I am finding it rather difficult at the moment. I can't seem to get my motivation back, with or without a spanking. To be honest I have been skipping meals and just eating sweet stuff. :(. I hope you can get back in the mood soon too
      love Jan,xx

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  17. Math is not my strong suite, in fact that's how hubby and I met many years ago in a math class I had failed many times. He only recently has had me count which I struggle with. He often doesn't tell me how many will be comming my way, so it seems pointless to be counting anything. However, if I don't count he doubles the number and makes them harder. Ouch.... so yes, your post did make me laugh. I often open mouth and insert foot while across his lap and an implement in hand.. Definately does not make sense.

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    1. Hi Annabelle, aren't we hopeless? Never mind it's all good fun , lol
      love Jan.xx

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