Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Does She and Did I?

Hello everyone,

Does She?

Something has happened around here that I thought you may all find a teeny bit amusing.
One evening son number two and dil to be came around for a visit. So far so good...

"Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?", I said . Fairly harmless question I would have thought.

"Yes please, tea"

Still safe.

"I'll make it for you shall I? said dil heading to the kitchen. I told you I loved her, she is like that all the time, sweet and kind.

I followed along and put the kettle on and then...

"Umm hmm , what's this then?" she said  whilst rummaging around in the cupboard for mugs!

Oh yes my friends,  that is my husband's I love to spank my wife Mug!! Haven't you all got one of those lurking in the kitchen somewhere?

She looked at me and I looked at her, we both giggled and I blushed and  shoved it to the back of the shelf and fished out some harmless spotty mugs instead.

Fast forward to last night and it is band practice for my son and his group. Hubby is there watching with dil and  she says something about a song they had played.

 Son  laughingly says " Don't worry I will slap her later!"

Another band member says " Better do it somewhere it doesn't show"

Dil turns to my husband and grins, he grins back!! What does she know?........

If she isn't 100% sure don't forget this is the dil I have given the instructions to dispose of the toy box if anything happens to us. She has a pretty fair idea I reckon.

Did I?

Did I lose weight this week?

                                                                       Yes I did!!!!

Two and a half pounds in fact and dil managed to do the same so we were both smug when we got home. I have seven pounds to  go to get to target and this has spurred me on to try a bit harder! Another chocolate, cake, biscuit free week coming up :(

It feels like it is taking forever!

I like burning off calories with my beloved, but I can think of a few other ways ;)

Anyone know how many calories it takes to be spanked? I do squiggle about a bit, lol

Hope you are all happy and well and enjoying ttwd


Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Oops! ..The scales are up :(

Hello everyone,

The title of this post says it all.

Tuesday is weigh in day and I am sad to say that even wearing a teeny thin dress and as little else as I could get away with, the scales have added a pound :(. Presumably the two Belgian buns I ate last week didn't help, or the ginger nuts, or the chocolate, or... you get the drift I imagine.

Now, as most of my friends out here in the land of ttwd now last week I was threatened with a spanking if I gained and I miraculously managed to escape with a teeny weeny loss. I was extremely smug. What  is that saying?

                                                                Oh yes that's the one :(

Hubby was adamant,

" The rules haven't changed from last week, if you gain you get spanked , be warned"

Dil and I plodded forlornly off to our doom. We had both gained a pound. One single pound in the wrong direction. To add insult to injury it was a charity week in aid of Macmillan (cancer aid) and we we had a coffee and cake morning at our club.

 Everyone including ourselves had made low syn nibbles and we  had a fundraising party. Somehow we managed to bake for everyone, spend loads, eat cake and put on weight.
 Not the most successful slimming world session I have had. Let me tell you that no matter what you make them with slimming cakes are not worth eating. Cakes need sugar and butter or they are not cakes!!!!
It only took us a couple of hours too. We both agreed that this was a week to be written off. As we parted ways I said to her,

"Home to face the consequences"

"Me too, I will text him in a minute" she replied glumly, referring to my son who I am sure was ready to dole out sympathy not spanking!!

"Well?" The mean darling husband barked as I walked in the door.

Not so smug now, I confessed to my added pound.

"Oh well you know what happens now", he gleefully replied. Not much sympathy to be had here.

"I feel an implement or two coming out"

I had no defence and so later on that day I was treated to his hand, followed by  his crop and then that blasted wooden ruler. have I ever mentioned my dislike of wood, yes I thought so :(
I am under instructions to lose that pound and a bit more next week. I am pretty sure that I won't , I have never lost weight in  anything more than small amounts.
I will admit to being very careful now and am planning a week off all things sweet and chocolatey. How depressing!

In  truth that is the second spanking in a week caused by those blasted Belgian buns as at the weekend I had eaten one whilst Hubby was at work, leaving one for him to munch on when he got home.

How kind  I hear you say.

Yes, but whenever we eat these he always gives me his cherry (off the top!) as long ago I gave him mine ;). This time though I pinched it,lol

The next morning I was accused of thieving and spanked with the blasted little chopping board.

                                                             (not identical but similar)

 He said I should have texted him to ask first and not just stolen it!! We both laughed our way through this spanking, he was really clutching at straws. I bet no one else gets spanked for pinching a cherry!!

Any way, never again am I going to eat one of those yummy buns before Slimming World and  my days of thieving are over.......

Now to be truthful, this is never going to be a one time thing but I just couldn't resist this picture.

Hope everyone is well, happy and spanked ...

love Jan,xx

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Talking, talking and.....Spanking ;)

Hello everyone,

I would like to start off this post with the biggest Thank you to all of you. When I wrote my whiny post I didn't envisage the mountains of support I would receive both on the blog and in private. I can honestly say I was overwhelmed and so grateful. Most of you it appears have encountered a blip similar to ours at some time. We are all so lucky to have each other to talk to. Not for the first time have I wished some of you were living just around the corner not halfway across the world.

We have talked and talked about things, hubby has read the post and all the comments. He said he was glad I had such support, as soon as we started our discussions I knew he was aiming to put things right. He has apologized, more than once and we have both tried to ask for what we want out of ttwd.
Basically we both want what we had, our desires haven't changed. One blogger suggested maybe I wanted more from ttwd but actually I don't, that is one thing I am sure of. What we had was plenty fine. :)

I wondered if maybe I was too sensitive to his comments but John has said no.
 I don't think he realized how I would take his comments. In hindsight he made a mistake that I took the wrong way. In the light of how much we are dealing with in our real life I think we were both too stressed to focus on each other as we generally do.

Moving on to the future we decided to tell each other exactly what we wanted the future to look like and see where we could go from here.
This was much harder to do than apologizing to each other as neither of us wanted to risk upsetting the other!!

My requests

I wanted John to let me know what more I could do for him.
I also would like more emotional support whilst I am dealing with the outside rubbish, whether it is by word, cuddles or spanking!
I sometimes feel isolated  and need to know that he has my back. ( Inside I know he has but I sometimes need to hear it)

His requests

That I do less for him, he reckons I cosset him enough!!( I am not sure I agree with this one)
That I develop the ability to say no to some outside stuff or at least say no when he tells me to!
Spanking.  He said whatever I think he does not want to stop this,  it may have started out as my kink but now it is his too and it is not stopping.

Obviously there was a lot more to this but  you get the drift.....

Asking for more was hard and I will admit I was a bit weepy throughout the conversation. On the whole  neither of us was very demanding, we aren't going to change the world. The spanking issue I didn't argue with but I must admit I felt very apprehensive about it all.

Discussions over for the time being, John took me to a lovely country pub for a traditional English Sunday Roast, over which we talked a bit more. I think doing something nice and normal together helped a lot.

The next day hubby decided to try a spanking, I think we were both a bit tentative. I wondered if it would be a punishment for the drama queen stuff but no it was simply  a spanking because he could, and all the way through he told me how much he liked spanking me and how pink had become his favourite colour.

 There was plenty of stroking and lots of loving. He used his belt just at the end, the toy box remained closed and chatting afterwards he admitted he was a bit scared to push it and get the implements out. I have assured him that I am fine with whatever he wants to use ( sort of, the wooden stuff could stay at the bottom of the pile for a bit ;)

We both feel better about everything and I am hoping we will not let things go this far off track again. No , never again do I want to upset him or be upset by him. Ttwd is hopefully here to stay.

The next morning was my regular day for slimming club and I realized that hubby was back to normal when as we lay in bed chatting  hubby suddenly leaned over with a mischievous grin on his face and said,

"If you don't lose weight today you are getting a spanking, no staying the same either, you have to lose!"

"What!! You took me out to dinner, I had dessert and alcohol!! I'll never lose today""

"Lucky  for me then, I am incentivising you, this is how it's going to be from now on, I am keeping an eye on things!" he replied laughing. ( I know there is no such word but I am quoting here)

Dil arrived, we are struggling with the weight loss thing together, and as we toddled off through the door  a couple of hours later he said

"Don't forget what I said, better take some of those clothes off before you get on the scales"

We both giggled as dil glumly said "I better be naked then ".

On returning I was so smug as I had lost half a pound, ( yes I know it was pathetic but it was  a loss, )
He was so disappointed, the look on his face was priceless. Later that day when I was teasing him about it he said he was going to spank me for causing him to be so disappointed!! He reckons he is on to a winner either way. Normal fun and games resumed!!!

I am hopeful that things will get even better, hubby is calling our life a work in progress, he has said that we are rebuilding and  I think we are using stronger bricks .

I hope that everyone who has suffered or is suffering from their own blips and hiccups can find a way through them. I  think lots of couples feel differently about ttwd and between each couple there has to be give and take. I just hope  as couples we can all find a measure of happiness and find a path we can travel together.

Much Love


Wednesday, 9 September 2015

a Step Back :(

Hello my friends,

I am glad to have somewhere to go and someone to talk to at the moment as our ttwd life has hit a bit of a stumbling block.

Ttwd has never been a huge deal with punishments galore but it has been consistently there for a few years now and so I thought a handy little tool keeping us together and happy. At the moment though it all feels a bit fraudulent, sort of I thought it wa one thing and he thought it another. His version appears to have been a bit more trivial than mine, I feel like I was just a joke to him, gosh that is hard to say and maybe not even true. Who knows? Certainly not me.

Of course this is probably temporary but I feel a bit saddened by it all, trivial though it is, and it really is. I have blown everything out of proportion and have no ideas or inclination  how to put things right. We are not a couple of kids, we have been married for thirty three years for God's sake!

At the moment my "ordinary" life is going through some difficult times, really really hard stuff. Stuff I can't even talk about . Stuff I want to cry about and run away from. My sense of duty won't let me though. I hate being so bloody responsible.

That aside:

Grandbaby is fine, wonderful and getting bigger and more beautiful by the day.

 Our youngest has just asked his lovely girlfriend to marry him. These things are absolutely the best. I adore the baby and my new dil is the daughter I would have chosen for myself. I love her to bits.
I think she likes me too,( she told someone at our slimming group I was a lovely mil and I cried!!)

However in dealing with the awful crap I have struggled so much and one day when I turned to hubby for help, help he knew  I was desperate for, it was not forthcoming. I am not saying he rejected me but it definitely felt like it and in a totally crappy text too :(.

The obvious happened, as we don't row, I just withdrew into myself and plodded on. I couldn't talk to him, in fact I barely spoke to anyone for a week. I felt that ttwd was just simply a game to him and one  that he would only join in with, when he felt like it. I actually feel sad and a bit embarrassed that I am so needy.

 Please don't get me wrong I totally love my husband, he is the be all and end all of my existence, just right now I can't cope with one more thing being so hard in my life and suddenly I have to :(

The crap is still going on and in truth I can't see an end to it.  Ttwd has been all that has given me peace and strength to deal with it for years so now what?

After a week hubby decided we needed to clear the air and said so. I told him outright that he wasn't spanking me, no chance. I felt too embarrassed by it as we had obviously had such different ideas on it all and that I was feeling an idiot.

He straightaway replied that I had got it wrong and he felt I should spank him as he owed me an apology for the text and for not being there for me!!

I was taken aback, somehow I felt worse because he was admitting he knew he had done it and had just left me sad and quiet for days.

 I just said no, and tried to explain how I was feeling. like a lemon and actually a bit of a nuisance to him, was he just thinking I was an idiot all this time?  I have taken spanking off the agenda for now.
He would like things to just go back to the way they were but I can't see how right now, there is no way in hell I am confident enough to try spanking at the moment.

Ever since we started living this way I have talked about the blogs and all of you, reading him bits and pieces now and again. he however has refused to read a thing. I have gone as far now as to ask him to read some things and research a bit about stuff to see if we can find a way forward.

Today he read some of Jack and Meredith's posts, and I have left him to think.

I feel lost and as he is at work now I can have a little cry in peace. What do I do now? There is a brick wall between us and although day to day life is the same, ttwd is not.

I am aware that all this is trivial and will surely pass soon enough. The thing with this lifestyle is though, that you can't just chat about it to your mate up the road and put the world to rights over a cup of tea! That is why you my friends are lumbered with this whiny post. I am sorry about that and please feel free to go on your merry way.
 If however anyone has some useful advice,  at this point un-useful advice will be gratefully  received as well, such are the depths of despair currently attained in the Rose household please be free to give it I will be grateful.

I am aware there are lots of you with much more significant stuff to deal with so you all have my sympathy. I hope everyone has a good week

much love

                    Jan, xxx