Wednesday, 16 September 2015
Talking, talking and.....Spanking ;)
I would like to start off this post with the biggest Thank you to all of you. When I wrote my whiny post I didn't envisage the mountains of support I would receive both on the blog and in private. I can honestly say I was overwhelmed and so grateful. Most of you it appears have encountered a blip similar to ours at some time. We are all so lucky to have each other to talk to. Not for the first time have I wished some of you were living just around the corner not halfway across the world.
We have talked and talked about things, hubby has read the post and all the comments. He said he was glad I had such support, as soon as we started our discussions I knew he was aiming to put things right. He has apologized, more than once and we have both tried to ask for what we want out of ttwd.
Basically we both want what we had, our desires haven't changed. One blogger suggested maybe I wanted more from ttwd but actually I don't, that is one thing I am sure of. What we had was plenty fine. :)
I wondered if maybe I was too sensitive to his comments but John has said no.
I don't think he realized how I would take his comments. In hindsight he made a mistake that I took the wrong way. In the light of how much we are dealing with in our real life I think we were both too stressed to focus on each other as we generally do.
Moving on to the future we decided to tell each other exactly what we wanted the future to look like and see where we could go from here.
This was much harder to do than apologizing to each other as neither of us wanted to risk upsetting the other!!
I wanted John to let me know what more I could do for him.
I also would like more emotional support whilst I am dealing with the outside rubbish, whether it is by word, cuddles or spanking!
I sometimes feel isolated and need to know that he has my back. ( Inside I know he has but I sometimes need to hear it)
That I do less for him, he reckons I cosset him enough!!( I am not sure I agree with this one)
That I develop the ability to say no to some outside stuff or at least say no when he tells me to!
Spanking. He said whatever I think he does not want to stop this, it may have started out as my kink but now it is his too and it is not stopping.
Obviously there was a lot more to this but you get the drift.....
Asking for more was hard and I will admit I was a bit weepy throughout the conversation. On the whole neither of us was very demanding, we aren't going to change the world. The spanking issue I didn't argue with but I must admit I felt very apprehensive about it all.
Discussions over for the time being, John took me to a lovely country pub for a traditional English Sunday Roast, over which we talked a bit more. I think doing something nice and normal together helped a lot.
The next day hubby decided to try a spanking, I think we were both a bit tentative. I wondered if it would be a punishment for the drama queen stuff but no it was simply a spanking because he could, and all the way through he told me how much he liked spanking me and how pink had become his favourite colour.
There was plenty of stroking and lots of loving. He used his belt just at the end, the toy box remained closed and chatting afterwards he admitted he was a bit scared to push it and get the implements out. I have assured him that I am fine with whatever he wants to use ( sort of, the wooden stuff could stay at the bottom of the pile for a bit ;)
We both feel better about everything and I am hoping we will not let things go this far off track again. No , never again do I want to upset him or be upset by him. Ttwd is hopefully here to stay.
The next morning was my regular day for slimming club and I realized that hubby was back to normal when as we lay in bed chatting hubby suddenly leaned over with a mischievous grin on his face and said,
"If you don't lose weight today you are getting a spanking, no staying the same either, you have to lose!"
"What!! You took me out to dinner, I had dessert and alcohol!! I'll never lose today""
"Lucky for me then, I am incentivising you, this is how it's going to be from now on, I am keeping an eye on things!" he replied laughing. ( I know there is no such word but I am quoting here)
Dil arrived, we are struggling with the weight loss thing together, and as we toddled off through the door a couple of hours later he said
"Don't forget what I said, better take some of those clothes off before you get on the scales"
We both giggled as dil glumly said "I better be naked then ".
On returning I was so smug as I had lost half a pound, ( yes I know it was pathetic but it was a loss, )
He was so disappointed, the look on his face was priceless. Later that day when I was teasing him about it he said he was going to spank me for causing him to be so disappointed!! He reckons he is on to a winner either way. Normal fun and games resumed!!!
I am hopeful that things will get even better, hubby is calling our life a work in progress, he has said that we are rebuilding and I think we are using stronger bricks .
I hope that everyone who has suffered or is suffering from their own blips and hiccups can find a way through them. I think lots of couples feel differently about ttwd and between each couple there has to be give and take. I just hope as couples we can all find a measure of happiness and find a path we can travel together.