Tuesday, 17 November 2015

A Mess or not A Mess.....



Hello everyone,




This is the tale of a mess of a wife and an irritated husband.

Once upon a time in a little village by the seaside there lived a long married (happily, actually very happily) middle aged couple. This odd pair live a lifestyle most commonly known as ttwd.

Yes indeed, they did their own thing, as did lots of their friends all over the world.

Each couple lived this life in their own way,  with rules for some and none for others.
"How unfair "I hear you cry. Well true, but hey ho life is what it is, as much as we bemoan our fate.

One fine day, and believe me the winds and rain are upon us now, so fine days are few and far between our couple went to the nearest town to do a bit of shopping, for the festive season of Christmas is nearly upon us.

Before I regale you with the day's adventures can I just say a word or two in defence of the sweet wife ( Hmm,glossing over some of her less attractive attributes here....) For the last few months said wife has had a few health issues, really big ones and a few other stressful life issues that have dragged her down.   She has possibly tried the patience of the nice husband just a wee bit. In truth the patience of a saint would probably have reached it's limit.

Okay on with the jolly day out...

Now as far as the wife was aware nothing unusual was happening, a lot  bit of shopping, a trip to the bank, Christmas pressies for family and a few friends, a bit of lunch out ( including some jolly nice forbidden cake)


Husband however was getting seriously cross and keeping quiet about it.
Innocent wife carried on blithely annoying him without knowing.
At this point I do feel a warning would have been appropriate but nothing was said :(



On returning home whilst putting the shopping away, hiding all the presents our heroine didn't realize husband's intentions until from the bedroom came....




"In here, now!"

"What, why, what do you want?"

 She wandered in to discover the pillows piled at the end of the bed and husband standing in a certain familiar position with that "look" on his face. If you don't know what look you are lying  and as I have been in trouble I am quite happy to grass anyone else up for fibbing as I so don't feel like being the only naughty one around here :(

 "Are you playing?"

"Not  a chance, skirt up, knickers down and over the pillows. "

At this point our poor girl had no idea what she had done... bewildered but sort of  obedient she assumed the position. There may have been a teensy bit of arguing first. Now the aforementioned husband is not a particularly good lecturer ( I am sure he won't mind me telling you, we all have our good and bad points after all).


The spanking commenced fast and furious. And jolly hard!

"ALL day you have been putting yourself down,  and I am fed up with it. Why in earth would you call yourself a fat ugly mess? What makes you think I would be with someone like that? All day long you have been doing it"


Oops!

 The lecture continued in this vein for a bit and even included

"Did you see what was out there in that Market Place today, for God's sake you are not a mess.

Repeat after me  "I am not a mess"

Nothing was repeated, hubby pressed the issue, (several times) He even decided that the belt may help his case. Ouch!!

"Come on, say it". More spanking, lots of ouch-ing, owie-ing and squiggling, but no words...

Couldn't do it, just couldn't do it.  And then a rare occurrence happened




Tears, lots and lots of tears and finally

"I can't say it , I am not allowed to lie.................."

Speechless, the darling husband stopped at once and everything turned to cuddles and hugs.

Firmly he said, " You are not a fat ugly mess and you had better not say it ever again. I will not have you put yourself down like that"




This is how  a new rule came into place in the little house in the village by the seaside, how the maybe not such a mess wife discovered that she was not allowed to say just whatever she felt like, at least not without consequences. She also discovered that there are definitely times when her placid easygoing husband would  not let things go,


                                                     and that he loved her just as she is. :)




And I love him too, more than words could say.


Hope you all are having a good week, with or without  the spankings you do or do not deserve.

love 
      Jan,xxxx

42 comments:

  1. Oh gosh, this just filled my heart. Seems even worth the spanking. This is love at its finest you lucky lady.

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    1. Oh thank you for coming to see me , yes it was worth the spanking
      love Jan,xx

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  2. Jan,
    Your sweet husband did exactly what was necessary............. ouch! He loves you and I like the new rule at your house.
    Meredith

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    1. Hi Meredith, he always does what's necessary :(
      I bet you have the same rule
      love Jan,xx

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  3. What a wonderful man you are married to. He right, you know. Our bodies are not perfect - many of us are over weight, we're not beauty queens. But think of our mens lives if we were suddenly removed from the scene. They DO love us and would be as lost without us as we would be without them, and looks have nothing to do with that.

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    1. Hi PK, I am struggling with so many things at the moment, I feel like I have aged 10 years in the last few months. Cross your fingers for me as I get some nasty biopsy results tomorrow. I am so lucky to have him
      love Jan,xx

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  4. Aw! That just made me tear up a little bit. What a sweet man. You sound like a terrific couple. And he is right, you shouldn't put yourself down.

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    1. Hi Casey, Made me tear up a lot and I never cry when he spanks me, it was just suddenly all too much. Felt better afterwards though :).
      Hope you are finishing that book, you haven't got time to be reading out here, lol. I am looking forward to it
      love Jan,xx
      love Jan,xx

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  5. I love how you wrote this....and love even more your hubby's reason for setting your bottom on fire....
    hugs abby

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  6. Oh honey what a wonderful man you have! Perfect... You deserved his ire.... And the spanking. I've been told it's a criticism of them when we are negative as it to our selves.
    We all need to do self talk.... Start now lovely lady!

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    1. Hi Minelle, am having such a bad time at the minute and it is showing in my face! He has been mollycoddling me along for a while now. Maybe if I get good news at the hospital tomorrow it will be a turning point
      love Jan,xx

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  7. Standing ovation for your darlin' hubby Jan! I know that Ami has met you in person and says you are lovely...definitely not a fat ugly mess! On top of which, who is losing weight? You I believe. Your hubby has my support if you trash yourself again! Believe the man!!!!

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Hi Cat, it's not really the weight although I did put on this week :(. I have issues to sort that seem insurmountable, it's taking a toll , life is so aging!!!
      love Jan,xx

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  8. Hi Jan, this made me smile, even though ouch! What a wonderful and loving husband you have. He did what was needed and he is right :)

    Love how you wrote this too :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, thanks, I hope things are alright with you. I was a bit worried when you were missing for a bit.!
      love Jan,xx

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  9. Hi Jan, Oh gosh you poor lady. Going through so much at the moment, stay positive. I'm sure you will receive good results from your tests. As for you husband, ouch but he did the right thing. You are a wonderful person to all of us bloggers. so I can imagine in real life you are a lovely lady also. Stop putting yourself down. tomorrow is a new day and everything will be bright and sunny again.
    Sending positive vibes your way.
    Hugs Lindy

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    1. Hi Lindy, I am sure I will be okay, tomorrow is the big day. Yes it was certainly ouch!! Plodding on over here
      love Jan,xx

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  10. Your hubby was right. I loved his reaction. He did exactly as he should and it's what you needed.True love.

    Love and hugs,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Hi Ronnie, he surprised me with it all. he hadn't warned me at all just sprung into action when we got home. I think I must have been getting on his nerves all day, poor man
      love Jan,xx

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  11. It's so easy to put ourselves down, and what a fantastic husband to notice. So many don't!
    I love the quote about the messy world, very true.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Hi DF, it's definitely a messy world round here, what with trying to deal with all the crap going on . Never mind plod on, it helps to have a spanking husband doesn't it? lol
      love Jan,xx

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  12. Golly, Jan! Had I known you were putting yourself down like this, I would've stood in line with our fabled Big Nipper!

    You are most certainly NOT a big fat mess, and I can vouch for that! And if you were - just think what I would be! A gigantic fat mess! So there!

    Everyone - she is slim and lovely! And I can vouch for it!

    Hugs
    Ami

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    1. Ami, don't say that!!! How embarrassing, seriously inside I am slim and lovely but on the outside maybe not so much :(
      Love Jan,xx

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    2. Jan, don't say that! I know that Ami is right because that you are slim was something she mentioned in a comment after you two had met. And I can vouch for you being lovely too! :)

      hugs and lots of love

      .... and one additional hug because of the rough time you are having

      Nina

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  13. Oh Jan, hugs for you. I am so sorry that you had this sort of day where the burden of it all dragged you down in such a way. Aaaand I think your husband is right. Don’t put yourself down. I know, sometimes that is easy to say, when we do not feel like awesome. However your husband noticed what was going on and wouldn’t let you go on with it. I am glad he did tell you off (a little), and I am happy that you have him to lift you up in such a moment too. I love how he loves you and how you love him. He does love you the way you are, no matter what. Just saying. :)
    Besides, I cannot imagine that any of what you thought about yourself that day comes close to who you are. In a way, I’d like to scold you ( only very little) for thinking that about yourself, but I’d love far more to give you a hug because I think you are awesome and amazing.
    It hurts to read that you have to deal with so much on your own, and I think it was lovely that your husband took you in his arms when he understood your distress. You are in my thoughts, and I keep my fingers crossed about tomorrow’s test results. Sending love and good thoughts your way.

    hugs and love

    Nina

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    1. Hi Nina, you are so sweet, I hope everything is going well for you, not long to go, that will be news we are waiting for! My husband is brilliant, he is always there for me no matter what and when I am weak he is strong and when he is weak I am strong. I guess that's how it's supposed to be
      love and hugs to Tilda
      Jan,xx

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  14. Oh Jan, so sorry you feel like this I do empathise with you I feel the same occasionally. I also get told off so I will tell you what I get told, that I'm just as beautiful as the young woman he married all those years ago,. Sounds to me that what he was telling you with that spanking so believe your husband he is the one that matters. Xx

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    1. Hi Anna, Sometimes you just can't shake it can you? I think we are going through a tough patch outside of marriage, (that bit's great!) and I find myself struggling with all of that, pulled in so many directions. One of my friends said the other day that I need a spreadsheet to fit it all in :(
      I was hiding at hers for an hour where no one (except hubby) knew where I was, lol. She calls it my refuge..
      love Jan,xx

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  15. I admit I sometimes have fantasized about this scenario - during times when I have felt negative on myself during my life I needed someone to notice, to show me that they cared and to stop the self-destructive talk. Such love was shown here and I am glad for you. Not a mess...simply beautiful the both of you. :-) Hugs

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    1. Hi Terps, I know I am so lucky to have him, sometimes you just need that someone to stop the self destruction
      love Jan,xx

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  16. Hello Jan,
    I'm pretty new to all of this but in just a matter of days (I think I "met" you a week ago on Love Our Lurkers day), it was so clear to me that you have a kind and beautiful heart. Life throws curve balls at all of us. I believe it is to remind us of all the wonderful things this world has to offer and to ensure that we take the time to smell the roses and enjoy our time. Sounds like you have some scary things ahead of you (fill us in - you've got people all over the world wishing the best for you) so what better time for your husband to step up and remind you that you are worthwhile and loved? Good for him and good for you. Have a wonderful weekend, new friend. Amy

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    1. Hi Amy, your latest post about Eric's Birthday made me laugh! I have some issues going on right now and he is amazing. I couldn't manage without him. I am still not sure what is happening as the test results were inconclusive, looks like I have to decide for myself whether to have a hysterectomy or just wait and see whether the cancer is on it's way back, .
      love Jan,xx

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  17. Hello from Louisiana,

    This just warmed my heart so much. You are not a mess! Keep blogging!

    Renee

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    1. Hello Renee, welcome to my world, I am a mess sometimes but somedays I am quite normal!! Are you a blogger too?
      love Jan,xx

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  18. Oh, Jan, I LOVE this! How sweet your man is. And I love the new rule. It's good for you and quite possibly could be good for others (me included) as I know many of us tend to out ourselves down. You are not a mess! We all just have messy moments once in a while. I bet he thinks you're beautiful inside and out!

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    1. Hin Maggie, he is the sweetest man, I hope your other half adopts our rule too. I think most of us need this one at some time or other
      love Jan,xx

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  19. Hi Jan,
    Husband Knows Best on this subject. Why is it we do this? Just so you know, I even made it down to where I should be, but it doesn't stop me from feeling less than adequate. Perhaps it is a much deeper behavior than what the scale says.

    You are in my prayers, Jan. Love yourself.

    Hugs Across the Pond,
    Ella

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    1. Hi Ella, I think even when I am at target I won't be happy, We never are are we? I am not so much feeling a mess about that though really, it is symbol of all the other stuff going on I think. One of my huge things is resolved though as I am closing my dance school at Xmas and retiring. It has been the hardest decision after 25 years and I have cried buckets. Still I have done the hard bit now and told everyone, so that is one thing sort of sorted! Hpe you and Sam are doing well
      love Jan,xx

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  20. Jan, you wrote this so well. Nothing you wrote about in the shopping trip lead to what he saw. Leads me to believe that you say it without even a conscious thought about it. How very loving of him to address this so strongly with you. It's not that you can't say those things- you can't say what he feels is a lie- very untrue to what he sees. I hope your heart hears his message (even though he went for your bottom).
    XOXO Pearl

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    1. Hi Pearl, thanks for that, He is such a good husband, we have been together for nearly thirty four years and ttwding for the last few. He hates it when I say things like that, I am trying to stop but sometimes it just slips out
      love Jan,xx

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