Friday, 28 October 2016

Hello Again.



Hello everyone, and a big thank you to all my Blogland chums for your support whilst life has been throwing it's  little missiles at us.

I have been reading the blogs and catching up on everyone's shenanigans, ( mind you it is pretty quiet out here), about time for Love our Lurkers day to appear I see. That is my most favourite day out here and usually we gain a few new blogs after it.

Feel free to stop reading now as this is a long, boring, get it off my chest post. Just saying.....

Over the last six months, I have struggled with a lot of things, not least of which was our ttwd lifestyle. Having over the last four years had a fairly easy going approach to it all it came as a bit of a shock to both of us when......
 
 
   I WENT OFF SPANKING!!!



I  didn't want to know,

 no playtimes in this house,

 no good or bad girl spankings,

Nope !

Zilch, nada, nothing, no interest over here.    :(.

Now bearing in mind my most common reason for spanking apart from play was stress relief after dealing with the various oldies in our lives (Bless 'em, but seriously....) the stress has built and it seemed like all I could think about was the nursing home, dementia riddled parents and the pressures associated with them. I was fit to burst with it all and spiralling.

After calling a halt to it all , there was a sort of silence in the home. We pussyfooted around each other, neither of us daring to broach the subject. This went on until the conversation had to be had.




Hubby was adamant that we had to sort things, he was determined not to lose what we had , our wonderful life together, newly retired.
During our long conversations we realized that this had all started after I had my surgery , guess my hormones had gone haywire ( well awol at least). At least we had identified part of the cause, hubby then began to listen to what I was saying about how the spankings made me feel (mostly pain and more pain and no sexy fun anymore) and then bless him he turned to the blogs for advice.  It was very tentatively that he started to read, I did recommend some of you to him. At this point I have to say a big thank you to Meredith and Jack, and Jane and Jason. Unbeknown to them they have given us  a great deal of silent help.



We in no way live our lives like either of these couples, but advice is advice and Jane has loads of general stuff that could apply to most of us. Her "Advice from the Trenches" has been invaluable, I know hubby returned to her blog more than once.  He has learned that I need the words and the consistency. Always affectionate, he has become so much more everything :)

 I think for me, knowing he was trying so hard  has been what helped me turn the corner.


Things are so much better now, better than before even. Spankings are much more prevalent, not so hard maybe as I don't seem to be able to take as much. However  I am so pleased to report that the giggles are back !!



On the subject of the oldies, that is not going to improve, hubby's parents are going to live forever (both 90 now), I have the best mother in law in the world, she is the queen of the nursing home and long may she remain so.

My own mother is inflicting her own brand of dementia on the other residents and staff , her prevalent traits are even more pronounced :(
While her mind gets more addled every day, she is getting physically stronger, A never ending struggle in which there cannot be a happy ending. I have made a big decision, not to visit more than twice a week, this is huge for us and although I don't always stick to it I am trying,  hard though it is.




Just to make you smile and try and redeem this post slightly:

On a spanking note, son and dil to be were here one night and as usual my mouth ran away with me...

Son swatted dil in the kitchen,

"Too high" she said, "That's nearly my back!"

"Oh", says I,  "you need to get some advice from your father, he is very experienced and never misses!"

Giggles ensued, although son did seem a bit redder in the face and wandered off changing the subject.

Seriously , will I ever keep my mouth shut. 

Hubby told me off later in his own special way. ;)



"You will have the kids thinking I am a brute!"he said as he spanked me (in a very non brutish way I might add).

Normal service has resumed and if I can think of anything to tell you that unlike this post won't bore you to death, I will be back soon.

Oh and did I say, it's Love our Lurkers day soon. Yay, it's party time!!

Hope you all have a great week

love Jan. 
       xxxx
 



23 comments:

  1. Went through the dementia nightmare with dad a decade age. Dealing with it with Nick's mom now, but thankfully they had five kids and they all take their rightful turn. I know all about spankings that just hurting - and not in the good way. It's that way mostly right now. I know Nick doesn't what to lose what we gained either, unfortunately he's not one to talk about things and he'd never initiate the conversation. So...

    I love what you said to your son and to what you got for it!

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    1. Hi PK,my gran had it before mum so I do know what to expect really, it's just that my mum has always been an odd mum and now she is even odder. It was you I thought of when I told him about the spankings just hurting. I remembered you had said it a while ago. I think when I withdrew it spurred him into action! Nick seems to go in fits and starts doesn't he? Men....
      love Jan, xx

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  2. Jan, I'm so happy to see you back and in good spirits. Glad to hear you've got your spanking mojo back too. It's really difficult dealing with the oldies, I've probably bored you to death with tales of looking after Harry's late parents but, for what it's worth, I think you've made the right decision to cut down on visiting, you have to be kind to yourself too.
    Have a lovely, spanky, weekend!
    Lots of love, Rosie xx

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    1. Hi Rosie, oh no it helps to hear others stories, the visiting is hard as she asks for me all the time. On the subject of a spanky weekend, we have plenty of time for it, it is 740 a.m. We forgot to put the clocks back :( lol
      love Jan, xx

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  3. Jan,
    Seriously you have been on my mind and then there you are, back to us posting again. I missed you. I am glad you are back to blogging. Things will settle down on the homefront as they always do. We are here for you too.
    Meredith

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    1. Hi Meredith, thank you to you, your blog was the one I started him on!
      love Jan, xx

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  4. Hi Jan,I'm so glad to see you post again and even better,to hear you have your spanking mojo back. It makes some sense that you went off it after surgery. A bit how I feel nowdays, they just hurt...When they happen that is. How awesome of hubby to read and research and seek advice to help you. You have a wonderful man :)

    Sending positive thoughts and strength your way dealing with both your parents, dementia is so difficult, I an going through it with my mum.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, Sorry to hear about your mum, it is a terrible disease. It affects everyone so differently and carers always struggle. Hubby has been great and he has always put up with some terrible stuff from my mum
      love Jan, xx

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  5. Hey Jan...was happy to see your post pop up on my reading list. Sorry you have had such a rough time but very happy to hear things are going better. What a lovely hubby you have to do all that reading and researching. I did have to laugh when I heard your response to your son...I gave my youngest son and DIL a paddle for Christmas. They took it as a joke but...

    So sorry you are having to deal with the stress with the parents. I agree that you should limit your visits to your mother...it will be a lot healthier and less stressful for you. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy your way.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Hi Cat, I don't think I would dare go that far and give them a paddle, I did give the other two a set of spoons once. When I visited last week I was cooking for them and dil gave me the silicon spoon to use and said she never used that one! Pity, she could do with it
      love Jan, xx

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  6. Boring..not in the least....welcomed and made me smile. Your hubby is a keeper, bless him. And according to the response from your son...some things might run in families...LOL.
    Sorry about your mum....going through dementia with a dear friend right now....so I understand and think you have made a wise choice.
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby, sorry to hear about your friend, it is such a sad illness. My hubby is totally the best
      love Jan, xx

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  7. Welcome back Jan; Hope you keep on the upswing, and maybe your bottom will meet the downswing of a few spanks from your wonderful hubby. to not fill this limited space, I sent a private message.
    bottoms up / love
    Red

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    1. Hi Red, Thanks and thank you so much for your email, I hope you and Cindy continue to have a great retirement
      love Jan, xx

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  8. Good to see you Jan,

    As you know we went through Dementia with P's mom and I think you've made the right decision to cut back on visiting even though I know how hard that can be.

    So happy you have got your spanking mojo back. You have been in my thoughts and missed.

    Love and hugs
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Hi Ronnie, I only went twice last week, my brother went and was so disturbed by her he rang me up to discuss it! We just can't get away from it. I think all of us have dealt with dementia somehow, it's everywhere these days. Thanks for your support Ronnie, looking forward to meeting up again
      love Jan, xx

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  9. Oh Jan, I am so sorry that you had this hard time, and no spanking for a while is only one of the things that must have been awfully distressing for you. Hugs for that, for all the struggle and worry that you had to get through. I can only imagine how hard the decision to limit visits to your mom must be, but I think that what you decided (hard as it is) is right, and it had to be done to protect yourself and yours from emotional harm. I think not doing so could create so many more problems. I think I’d try to do it the same way if I ever were in this situation. Gloomy topic, I am sorry for that.
    Hormones, ew. :) But I am glad that your husband stepped up when you needed him, and he did it so wonderfully. I love that he read the blogs and found good advice, and I think I get you on hearing the words and consistency, because it sounds so much like what I need. Currently, because we are still out of Hamburg most time, I often feel like floundering, since hubby is not around during the week, and that sucks. I don’t like early Monday morning when he leaves and can’t wait for Fridays, when hubby returns. Something important is missing when he is not around (sorry for whining).
    Anyways, I think it is so absolutely awesome that you got the giggles and fun back, that is wonderful and it makes me happy. :) Lol, the kitchen scene made me giggle. I am so absolutely sure that your son and dil are a lot into spanking, and somehow it wouldn’t surprise me if sooner or later your dil asked you about it. Wishing you a wonderful week too.

    Hugs and love

    Nina

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    1. Hi Nina, I have missed seeing you around Blogland darling girl. I am sorry you are going it alone during the week. it is hard with the little ones on your own. Our oldest works long hours and since they moved his commuting time has added to his days. I know dil struggled at first, she seems to have settled down now, son bought her a car and that has helped no end. I think if you can you have to make the most of the weekends until something changes. I hope the girls are doing well, I expect Tilda will be looking forward to Christmas. Our youngest and his fiancee are funny, more like us than the others I think,
      love Jan, xx

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  10. Jan, I was a bit behind on my reading and was so glad to see your blog name pop up. First, I think your Hubby should receive some sort of award. It is wonderful that he cares so much that he would look for answers out here.

    It feels horrible when Sam backs off. I really need his consistency. When he thinks I am "breakable" things start heading downhill.

    You give that man of yours a pat on the back for me. This post sounds so much more like the giggly happy you. Don't know why spanking works for us, but it surely does.

    Hugs and Love Across the Pond,
    Ella

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    1. Hi Ella, he is preening now after I told him what you said!!lol. We are having such a lovely life together, determined to not let the pressure get us down. Hope your health is better now
      love Jan, xx

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  11. reading out of order...catching up...sorry things weren't quite well for a while, but so glad that you have found each other again to support one another and to find the laughter again. :-) Hugs to you

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    1. Hi Terps, hope all is well with you and yours too
      love Jan, xx

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  12. Hi Jan! :) How can you be worried about being boring! Quite the opposite, as it was so great to hear that in spite of some of the things that you were facing, you two sorted things out and are back at what you love, having fun, and even more so than before. I just love ttwd!

    I think that it is wonderful that your hubby took to reading some of the blogs to figure out how best to move forward. That is so telling. You have such a loving man there, taking care of you. So glad that all is well.

    I had a big laugh reading about your son and DIL! LOL! And then your hubby's follow up attention! All in the family? You both must get a big kick out of that. Glad that you are back and feeling much better! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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