Saturday, 14 January 2017

Good Bye Mum.


Hello everyone,

A sad post today. I am sorry I have been sniping and snarly around the land lately but it has been a difficult time around here,



Finally after over forty years of her wishing for it and forty years of my brother and I fighting it,  mum has passed away. The last year has been truly awful for her, and the last few weeks have been a nightmare. In all honesty I can feel nothing but relief, so much suffering over the years has finally ended for her.



XXXXXX


As most of you know mum has been living n the same nursing home as my parent's in law (both in their 90s) and to top off this week, as my mum lay dying the weather decided to wreak havoc on us all and threaten to flood the place. Plans were put in place behind the scenes ( That means not telling the oldies) to evacuate if necessary and we waited.

Yesterday morning I returned to the home to break my sad news to his parents and right in the middle of calming down a crying mil I was asked to pack a bag as they were off!
Now this went down like a lead balloon, my fil ( dementia not withstanding) decided this was a great adventure , mil not so much  ( that there is the biggest understatement of I have ever made!) :(
 Three hours later and they were moved to safety.




It is now the following day and nothing has  happened as yet but I am seriously thinking of just keeping my head down and hiding.




Yes, that's it exactly!

I sincerely hope you are all having a great week, if so could you please blog about it as I wish to live vicariously through you all this week . Just saying......

much love 
Jan, xx


46 comments:

  1. Sweet Jan,
    Hugs and prayers for you and your family during this time. I do get the need to escape and hide when things become that overwhelming. Hugs to you!
    --Baker

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    Replies
    1. Hi Baker, Thanks very much, just a lot going on here it seems
      love Jan, xx

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. I was thinking of you as the storm gathered. hugs to you and your family at this difficult time.
    Del x

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    1. Hi DF, thanks. Looks like the drama is over and they are returning. WE keep getting little flurries of snow, nothing like our friends across the pond though si not complaining.
      love Jan, xx

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  3. I am so sorry...we are in the same boat , so to speak. We are saying a final good-by to Master's mom this morning...and it has been a tough week, but at least no floods. HUGS to all of you. hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Hi Abby, oh I am sorry for your loss, what a week we are having. Somebody out here needs some good stuff to talk about!
      love Jan, xx

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  4. Jan,
    So sorry for your loss.Thinking of you! Be good to yourself. I will email.
    Meredith

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    Replies
    1. Hi Meredith, I should have flown out to join you and missed it all! Thanks very much for your support
      love Jan, xx

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss Jan, you are all in my thoughts at this difficult time. Sending lots of love and hugs. I so wish I was close so that I could hug you in person.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, thank you so much, I wish that too. I am alright about mum going really, it has been awful and I swear we treat our pets better than people over here!
      love Jan, xx

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  6. Sending love and hugs to you Jan. I am so very sorry.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Hi Ronnie, please don't worry, it was a happy release , truly.
      love Jan, xx

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  7. So sorry to hear of your loss and all of the chaos. May her memory be for a blessing. Sending hugs.

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    1. Hi Deena, Thank you, she is at peace after so many years of misery.
      love Jan,xx

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  8. Oh, Jan. I am so sorry for the loss but truly understand your relief. Remember that the relief comes from love and knowing that she is in a better place. You are in my prayers today, dear girl.

    Love and Hugs From Ella

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    1. Hi Ella, Thank you so much, I do feel relieved, in fact I think everyone who knew her does too. It was pretty awful, especially the last weeks. I hope you and Sam are getting over your loss too.
      Love Jan, xx

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  9. Jan,
    Thinking of you at this sad time. Long time lurker who wishes you well.
    Mignon

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    1. Hello there, welcome and very kind of you
      love Jan, xx

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  10. Jan, I'm sorry your mum has passed away but it must be a relief to you and your family to know that her suffering has ended. Thinking of you.
    Lots of love,
    Rosie xx

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    1. Hi Rosie, absolutely, I wish that no one has to go through that ever,I thank God for the wonderful staff and medical staff who have helped along the way.
      love Jan, xx

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  11. Oh Jan. I am so very sorry for your loss. I have no pretty words however I am with you in your grief. I understand the relief, knowing she is free from all her earthly pain and illness.
    I will keep you all in my prayers!

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    1. Hi Minelle, Thank you and I have been thinking of you too, Knowing you were going through much the same thing. Hope you are all okay
      love Jan, xx

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  12. So sorry Jan! I've lost both my parents - I remember the feeling of relief mixed with a tiny bit of guilt for feeling it. But I'm betting like you - there is the absence of guilt. We did all we could for them and there's nothing more to do. Nick's parents are still living (in their 90's too) so I know your feelings of those responsibilities lingering. I hope your weather settles down and I hope you can too. I'm sending you love and strength.

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    1. hi Pk, I honestly don't think I could have done more, after caring for her since my teens I feel a great sense of relief that it is over both for her and me and mine. My children have had to watch her all their lives too and that has been hard. I did do my best,my biggest sadness is only that my brother and I and our families were never enough for her to turn it round. I am looking forward to some peace. Hubby's parents are a dream compared to mum, and at 90 and 91 I am making the most of them! Hope you are enjoying retirement, we love it so much.
      love Jan, xx

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  13. Our condolences to you and the entire family on your loss. Wishing you better and happier days ahead. We are off cruising the Caribbean for a month starting next weekend. Maybe that will be in your future.
    Red and cindy

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    1. Hi Red and Cindy, thank you, Oh how lovely a whole month! I hope you have a fabulous time.
      love Jan, xx

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  14. I'm sorry to hear about your mum's passing. Sending you and your family positive thoughts.

    Take care,
    Cutiebootie

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    1. Hi there, thank you so much, we are all so grateful for everyone's support.
      love Jan, xx

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  15. Jan my thoughts are with you during this difficult time both with the loss of your mum and your in laws going through everything with the storms. You know I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on.
    Sending you positive vibes, stay strong and take care of yourself.

    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. Hi Lindy, thanks so much, our friendship is so valuable to me.
      love Jan, xx

      Delete
  16. Dearest Jan, Oh I am so sorry to hear about your Mum, but so glad for you to not have to go through the anguish that you have, for so long now! I'm glad that your Mum is now at peace. I think that Ella is right on- "relief comes from love", and I hope that you realize that you did all that you could, and then some for many, many years. Maybe you never saw a change, but I guarantee that you made a difference, as well as taught those around you, what love means sometimes. I am glad that you are now freed up to enjoy your sweet in-laws, but also to regroup, and do for you. I too wish that I could give you a huge hug!

    Gosh- how tough to be dealing with weather in the midst of it all! I am glad that things settled down for your in-laws, in spite of the weather changes! They mean it when they say, "When it rains, it pours" in so many ways.

    Take good care of you, and know that I send lots of love to you, your spanky man, and family! You are a wonderful daughter! Somewhere up there, is a mom who is looking down, at peace, and being proud of you!

    Lots of love,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Hi Katie, Thank you my friend. It has been hard over the years and I do feel relief at the moment. I have no idea what I will do with myself. Over the years I have given up jobs and opportunities to look after her and now I will have free time I won't know what to do with!
      The parents in law are back to the home, full of their adventures, went to see them today, bless them.
      Grandbaby is up next weekend so that is to be looked forward to. I hope you and Rob have a fun week, lovely post today
      love Jan, xx

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  17. Jan -
    So sorry to hear this. I can relate. Hoping you find comfort in knowing that you did all you could and in knowing that all these online friends are sending you positive thoughts and prayers in your direction for strength and courage.
    Best,
    Enzo

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    1. Hi Enzo, Thank you, I have had so much support out here in Blogland, I appreciate it so much. Sorting out the practical stuff is making me feel better at the moment too.
      love Jan, xx

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  18. Oh Jan, I am so sorry for your loss, but I also see what you mean with being relieved. All I hope for is that you and yours find a good way through this difficult time. I don’t know how to express how sorry I am, but just thinking of you and your family being sad makes me very sad as well. Sending good thoughts and love your way.

    hugs and love

    Nina

    p.s. I am sorry that my message is so late, but the last days have been awfully busy for us, as we prepared Kate’s first birthday, which turned into a major family gathering for us. Tilda and Kate loved it, so it was a great success, I’d say. :)

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    1. Hi Nina, gosh that birthday cam earound so quickly! I hope she had a lovely day and that both of the girls had fun at Christmas too.
      I imagine you can see the relief after what has happened with your Granny. Watching the suffering is so dreadful, it got to the point where I was willing it to happen. Don't be sad, she finally has the peace she has craved for such a long time.
      hugs to the girlies,
      love Jan, xx

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  19. Sweet Jan...I think everyone above have said it much better than I could. I remember when my dad got to the point where there was no hope and he was in constant pain, I prayed for him to leave so he could be at peace and pain free. Sending prayers and healing energy for you. Please make sure you take good care of yourself.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Hi Cat, you have got it exactly right, that is just what I felt. Everyone who knew her expressed the same thing. Since it happened I feel peculiar as if I am jet lagged! Just plodding on with the practical stuff for now. Thank you Cat.
      love Jan,

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  20. Jan.. I am late as usual getting my reading in, and just came across this post. I am very sorry to learn of your mom's passing. I know the mixed feelings one can get particularly when the quality of life is just not there anymore and they are suffering. My heart is with you and your family during this difficult time and prayers that peace will come to your mind and heart.

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    1. Hi Annabelle, thank you. Today was the funeral and it was surprisingly quite lovely. Everyone who knew mum knew how she was and the minister who gave the service was so kind and said just the right things.
      My life will be rather different now, exciting to think what life could hold now. I hope all is well with you now.
      love Jan, xx

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  21. Hello Jan, I'm sorry to hear of the compounding trauma you've just been through yet it seems, based on some of the stories about your Mom, a dramatic storm was timed rather fittingly for her exit. It's good to know that she is no longer suffering and perhaps you can now let go of the worry you mentioned so often. Keep her memories close to your heart and live your life to the fullest. She'll be with you along the way. Love, Amy

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    1. Hi Amy, how are you? We had the most lovely funeral yesterday. her life was so troubled, yet her send off was so sweet.
      love Jan, xx

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  22. Sorry to hear about your loss. I know it was like a double edge sword losing her, because I have been there myself. But there's comfort in knowing the suffering has stopped...

    Peace
    love
    And happiness to you
    1ManView

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    1. Hi there, Thankyou, oh yes it was so awful to see the suffering at the end. It is peace now for her and us really. The nursing home is definitely a less frantic place without her! Bless.
      love Jan, xx

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