Thursday, 17 August 2017

My Most read post!


Hello everyone,

This is one of Amy's bright ideas and with much help from Ronnie and my husband here it is....



 just to give you a giggle....

 I can't Count!

Earlier on in the week after a count up of the biscuit, cake, chocolate action in the house my oh so kind husband decided to take action :(

"Well I make that eighty" he rumbled in a sort of satisfactory tone .



"Wait, it can't be eighty, that's impossible! I haven't been that bad! Not eighty surely" I actually squeaked on in this way for a few minutes but I figured you have the idea.

"I am going back to the last spanking and there are a few days to consider. Stop your whining and move yourself up those stairs and over those pillows"

Now I don't usually count so I had no idea if this is a lot more or less than normal  or the same but it sounded pretty scary to me so it was with a less than keen attitude that I trudged slowly to my fate.

"Oh and before you get in position get the key out"

It just got better and better, as the key referred to is the key to a lovely leather chest kept in our bedroom that contains all our  toys and kept locked just in case the kids decide to have a look.
In my opinion 80 with anything was not going to be a pleasant experience. The devil left me laying there worrying for a while before he appeared rubbing his hands with no small amount of glee. 

The first ten were administered on his arrival with what seemed like a very determined hand. I was already squirming ( which he moans about all the time, and caused him to "suggest " that  If I didn't keep still 80 could quite easily turn into 90.

"That's ten, let's see what else would make  your naughty food habits better. "
Rummaging in the box I could hear him chuckling as he returned to the bed and put several implements beside me. 

"Ten with each of these  should have you thinking about that piece of cake"

He used  a wooden spoon, I swear I could feel those little egg shapes appearing on my bottom, he used a silicon spoon ( that I actually quite like but won't be telling him anytime soon in case it get's decreed as useless), a wooden ruler ( very stingy), a really hard leather paddle ( that aimed for my thighs as the kicking levels rose)  and then  more with his hand. 

And then, and then this is where I fully expect you to have a laugh at my expense. feel free I don't grudge it to you but he asked me how many we were up to.....

"50!" I shrieked "50!" 
There was a moments silence and then he laughed loudly and said 

"Actually it was 60! But I think we will go with your count "

"No, no. I lost count that's not fair, you can't do that, you are being mean"
Who really tells their Hoh that they are mean when trapped with one hand on their back and their legs pinned ? An extra, not counted flurry of slaps accompanied that small piece of idiocy.  My stupidity levels seemed to have grown even as my counting skills had decreased.  

The remainder were given with the aid of my least favourite implement, a nasty wooden paddle and I screeched the whole time, promising fervently to avoid any food with sugar in it for ever!! 
I will admit I have broken this promise already not even a week later,  but I do think there is a wee bit of improvement.

So there you have it my friends, next time you have to count, my advice is to concentrate, or take a blinking calculator with you. I am simply going to admit I have no idea and rely on his mathematical skills which are quite clearly better than mine.


Well there you go.  A miracle has occurred I have manage to copy and paste!!

love Jan,xxx

24 comments:

  1. LoL Jan, oh dear. How the heck do they expect us to count while our butt is under attack!

    Sorry but I did have to giggle. Not fun for you at the time, but fun to read :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, I am giggling now reading it back after all this time
      love Jan, xx

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  2. I congratulate you on the cutting and pasting..I am so not a computer smart person. I really dislike having to count...makes me stay right in the moment, and since He is still counting also...for accuracy...what is the point...but so far I have been smart enough to not ask Him that question. Good luck on those sweets. hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby, Oh my goodness if I had to count all the swats you take I would be a disaster!
      love Jan, xx

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  3. I totally cracked up over the image of having a calculator sitting alongside during a spanking. I have never read it before, so I was so happy to get my chance. And 80 is a lot, even with a hand!

    Hugs Across the Pond,
    Ella

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    1. Hi Ella, it sounded like a lot but in reality I think it is often more, gentle and hard all mixed up
      love Jan, xx

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  4. Yeah for the cutting and pasting! I tend to count in my head even when I don't want to, so it's become a habit. Sounds like he's getting serious about your healthy eating habits. Good luck.

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    1. hi PK, I don't generally count and he doesn't often ask me to. A bit of a lost cause it would be, and I think he knows it.
      love Jan, xx

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  5. Congrats on the cutting and pasting.

    I'm amazed you can count - my mind is not on numbers. lol

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    1. Hi Sunny, I had Ronnie's instructions and then hubby at hand! I am a hopeless techie person
      love Jan, xx

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  6. Jan,
    Counting through a spanking is funny from our end, but not from yours! It is very nice to read here on your blog again.
    Meredith

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    1. Hi Meredith, THanks, hope you and Jack are both okay,
      love Jan, xx

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  7. Sorry, Jan, but I had to laugh at this; it was good to read it again. I've tried to count in my head but have given up, I can't concentrate with spanks raining down on my posterior.
    Rosie xx

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    1. hi Rosie, I can't concentrate either :( lol
      love Jan, xx

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  8. Jan, Happy you managed to post it. I had to laugh at this. I'm glad P doesn't ask me to count very often. Loved your post.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Hi Ronnie, I guess I can count a few but not many at a time!
      love Jan, xx

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  9. Jan - I need any and every laugh I can get these days. I'm sorry, but this experience of yours provided me a little shot of happiness that is greatly appreciated. You are wonderful. Amy

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    1. Hi Amy, please know I am thinking of you at this difficult time, much love Jan, xx

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  10. Delightful to read! Was that eighty different boxes, or a few boxes whose contents equaled 80?
    I have found that if I count spanks, then their effect is lessened.
    Thanks for re-posting this, and did the spanking have any. Long term effect
    Bottoms up
    Red

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    1. hi Red, not eighty boxes!!!!! No long term effect either, lol
      love Jan, xx

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  11. Hi Jan, I had a giggle reading this. How on earth are you supposed to count, I never can. Loved reading this and hope you are still careful with your sweets. You sure don't need another spanking like this one.
    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. Hi Lindy, I don't count often, sweet stuff is my downfall every time.
      love Jan, xx

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  12. LOL Jan!:) I loved reading this post again! Good for you for getting it up there. You had wonderful help!

    At the time, it may not have been much fun, but it is a fun read after the fact. I couldn't count for the life of me. I've probably been asked to once or twice, but not usually. I am usually trying to listen to the words of wisdom coming my way in between the onslaught. HA! Oh and I am still your partner in crime, as I just possibly, on occasion tell Rob that he is a big meany as he splats, or whacks, or thwacks or simply spanks. With respect, of course. LOL! Great post! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Hi Katie, you are so much better than me at the techie stuff and I reckon most people are better at counting than me!
      love Jan, xx

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