This is one of Amy's bright ideas and with much help from Ronnie and my husband here it is....
just to give you a giggle....
I can't Count!
Earlier on in the week after a count up of the biscuit, cake, chocolate action in the house my oh so kind husband decided to take action :(
"Well I make that eighty" he rumbled in a sort of satisfactory tone .
"Wait, it can't be eighty, that's impossible! I haven't been that bad! Not eighty surely" I actually squeaked on in this way for a few minutes but I figured you have the idea.
"I am going back to the last spanking and there are a few days to consider. Stop your whining and move yourself up those stairs and over those pillows"
Now I don't usually count so I had no idea if this is a lot more or less than normal or the same but it sounded pretty scary to me so it was with a less than keen attitude that I trudged slowly to my fate.
"Oh and before you get in position get the key out"
It just got better and better, as the key referred to is the key to a lovely leather chest kept in our bedroom that contains all our toys and kept locked just in case the kids decide to have a look.
In my opinion 80 with anything was not going to be a pleasant experience. The devil left me laying there worrying for a while before he appeared rubbing his hands with no small amount of glee.
The first ten were administered on his arrival with what seemed like a very determined hand. I was already squirming ( which he moans about all the time, and caused him to "suggest " that If I didn't keep still 80 could quite easily turn into 90.
"That's ten, let's see what else would make your naughty food habits better. "
Rummaging in the box I could hear him chuckling as he returned to the bed and put several implements beside me.
"Ten with each of these should have you thinking about that piece of cake"
He used a wooden spoon, I swear I could feel those little egg shapes appearing on my bottom, he used a silicon spoon ( that I actually quite like but won't be telling him anytime soon in case it get's decreed as useless), a wooden ruler ( very stingy), a really hard leather paddle ( that aimed for my thighs as the kicking levels rose) and then more with his hand.
And then, and then this is where I fully expect you to have a laugh at my expense. feel free I don't grudge it to you but he asked me how many we were up to.....
"50!" I shrieked "50!"
There was a moments silence and then he laughed loudly and said
"No, no. I lost count that's not fair, you can't do that, you are being mean"
Who really tells their Hoh that they are mean when trapped with one hand on their back and their legs pinned ? An extra, not counted flurry of slaps accompanied that small piece of idiocy. My stupidity levels seemed to have grown even as my counting skills had decreased.
The remainder were given with the aid of my least favourite implement, a nasty wooden paddle and I screeched the whole time, promising fervently to avoid any food with sugar in it for ever!!
I will admit I have broken this promise already not even a week later, but I do think there is a wee bit of improvement.
So there you have it my friends, next time you have to count, my advice is to concentrate, or take a blinking calculator with you. I am simply going to admit I have no idea and rely on his mathematical skills which are quite clearly better than mine.
Well there you go. A miracle has occurred I have manage to copy and paste!!